How do you know when you are doing too much?
This month’s blog has come about after one of my followers reached out to ask this question.
And it’s a challenging question, predominantly because the answer will be different for each and every one of us.
Doing too much is a subjective phrase. One person’s “too much” could be seen as someone else’s “not enough”.
Additionally, our capacity changes over time. As we shuffle through the dark and cold winter days, your capacity may not be as significant as it may have been at the start of September.
What is it like when you have stretched yourself too far?
“It’s okay; you’re human. And a wonderful one at that.”
However, there are a number of ways of identifying when you may be doing “too much”. I have listed these in this blog so that they may help you to identify whether you are currently working beyond your capacity.
I want to reiterate here that these are all natural responses to external pressures and stresses. They do not make you less human or a rubbish teacher. I experienced these in my teaching career and, despite putting in boundaries, I sometimes do still overstep my capacity. It’s okay; we’re all human.
Read on until the end to discover a couple of things that may help you to reduce the pressures you may be experiencing too.
1) You feel on edge
When you have too much on, you can feel jumpy or on edge all of the time.
Ever feel like you’re going to tip over the edge?
You may struggle to relax, or even go to sleep in the evenings.
This may be being caused by your body’s natural stress response. When you experience a perceived danger (such as being in the Ofsted window for god knows how long), your body releases the stress hormone, cortisol, into your bloodstream.
This causes your heart to beat faster as oxygen in the blood is circulated to the other organs faster. Your blood sugar levels may increase so that energy is available to your cells more effectively.
In short, your body is poised for action. You will be experiencing a Fight or Flight response to the perceived danger. You are hyperaroused.
Even if the perceived danger is realised or goes away, your body can remain on high-alert. Read through until the end of this article to discover some ways that you can help your body to feel safe.
2) You feel ready to take cover
Alternatively, when you are doing too much, your stress response may lead you to experience hypoarousal, which causes you to shut down.
A duvet day sometimes feels all that we can do
When you experience hypoarousal, you feel like you are full and that you can’t take on another thing. You may feel emotionally numb and paralysed.
Instead of a Fight/Flight response, your response is to Freeze.
This can feel especially scary, particularly if you pride yourself on being a member of staff who cares deeply for their students. When you feel like you don’t care anymore, it can really make you question why you bother to keep going into school. This can lead to a sense of demotivation and resentment.
It’s not that you don’t care anymore, it’s just that you have reached your capacity at this moment in time.
So, you’re doing too much. Now what?
What’s been described above are the two extremes beyond your own Window of Tolerance.
Developed by Dan Siegel, The Window of Tolerance describes the ideal level of stimulation to ensure we are getting the best from ourselves.
Your Window of Tolerance is where you feel mentally engaged, can access your rational mind and your body is in its optimum state.
Here’s a number of things you can do to help transition yourself back into your Window of Tolerance.
1) Rest
Rest isn’t just about sleep. Its about giving yourself opportunities to reconnect with your why, spend time with people who fill you up and doing things that you enjoy.
Find out more about the different types of rest in my blog here.
2) Do only what is in your control
The challenge (well, one of them) with the education sector is that there is simply so much expected of schools, and very little resources with which to do it.
The reality is that you cannot do much about a lot of the things that you will be giving time and energy to worrying.
So, let them go.
No, that does not make you an uncaring teacher.
No, that does not mean you are giving up.
What it does mean though is that you are directing your valuable - and finite - time and energy to the things that you can control.
And that will make you feel a damn sight better at the end of the school day.
3) Put in some boundaries
Learn more about the value of boundaries - and how to put them in place - here.
4) Get it out of your head
Getting things out of your head can help relieve pressure and give you a sense of space .
Do what you need for yourself. You could sit and journal for 5 minutes, ask a friend to just listen whilst you vent at them (and not try to problem solve for you in the process) or write out everything that’s on your mind so that it’s safe on paper.
Lastly, here’s a list of some quick wins that you can do to help your body to feel safe again:
A breathing exercise or meditation
A grounding exercise
Laughter
“Your capacity bears no impact on your capabilities. You remain a stunning educator. ”
Recognising that you have reached your capacity is an amazing thing. It demonstrates great self-awareness and, if you choose to do something about it, self-kindness too.
When do you know that you have reached your capacity? And what helps you to empty your bucket ready to start again? Share in the comments below.